Taming the Tongue


This Easter will mark the three year anniversary of a falling out that I had with my mom. This is not an anniversary that I celebrate but one that I mourn. Although I was well into my Christian walk when the argument occurred I fell flat on my face stumbled . My words were barbed. They were equal parts hurt, anger, and disappointment. I had failed to tame my tongue.

Can you think of a time when you knowingly inflicted harm with your words? Maybe you felt justified because of the way you had been treated or hurt by that person.

“Know this, my beloved brothers: let every person be quick to hear, slow to speak, slow to anger; for the anger of man does not produce the righteousness of God.” James 1:19-20 

“Do not repay evil with evil or insult with insult. On the contrary, repay evil with blessing, because to this you were called so that you may inherit a blessing”. 1 Peter 3:9

Have you been nursing feeling of bitterness towards someone? Are you stuffing these feelings down praying that they will not erupt without notice.

Let all bitterness, wrath, anger, clamor, and evil speaking be put away from you, with all malice.” Ephesians 4:31

“Make every effort to live in peace with everyone and to be holy; without holiness no one will see the Lord. See to it that no one falls short of the grace of God and that no bitter root grows up to cause trouble and defile many.If you have hurt someone you love with your words the mending begins with God.” Heb 12:14-15

What to do should you fall flat on your face stumble:

1. Confess your sin and repent. Though He knows your thoughts (Psalm 139:2), tell your heavenly father what it is that has brought you to this point. Ask Him to help you see that person or your situation through His eyes. Ask God to help you begin to look at others the same way he does. Through his Spirit in you, he can help you do this!

Jesus told us to love others — even the difficult ones. He said, “A new command I give you: Love one another. As I have loved you, so you must love one another” John 13:34. We must obey!

2. Pray for the words to speak and for a time to say them.

3. Ask the person you offended for forgiveness.

“Therefore if you bring your gift to the altar, and there remember that your brother has something against you, leave your gift there before the altar, and go your way. First be reconciled to your [insert name], and then come and offer your gift.” Matt 5:23-26

4. Offer forgiveness in return.

After three years, my relationship with mom remains broken. I continue to pray and trust that God will heal and restore our relationship supernaturally. He is all-powerful and can turn any situation around. I also ask him to “Set a guard, O Lord, over my mouth; keep watch over the door of my lips!” Psalm 141:3

The bible has a lot to say about controlling our tongues. If you would like to read more see verses:

James 3:5-8Proverbs 18:21, James 3:6, James 3:8, 1 Peter 3:10, Proverbs 15:4, Luke 6:45, Psalm 34:13, Ecclesiastes 3:7 …


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